Dear Jeff Bezos

An open letter from a friend to what could be the most wonderful human ever

Dear Jeffy,

Even though we’ve never met, may I call you Jeffy? I’d like this letter to feel like it’s from a friend since, in an imaginative sort of way, it is. I’m a big fan of what you created with Amazon and I’m constitutionally inclined to friendliness. So, even though I don’t at all like how you are behaving, I still consider myself a friend to you. Feel free to do the same for me.

As a friend, may I say that you‘re blowing it big-time? Everyone I know hates you. Many people feel so strongly that they won’t even use Amazon. But unlike many who condemn you without deeper reflection, I suspect that all you need are just some loving words from someone close to you.

In writing and art critiques, I always like to start with what I like, and I’ll do the same with you. I am truly stunned and impressed by your vision. Like everyone, when I first heard that you were planning to sell tube socks on Amazon, I thought you were nuts. Who would go to the bookstore for a humidifier or guitar cable? Turns out, I would. You saw this long before anyone, and you made it happen despite the skepticism. Bravo! Steve Jobs has nothing on you.

Your implementation of customer reviews is another brilliant and revolutionary concept. Maybe you swiped the idea from somewhere else, but I hadn’t seen it. I use it all the time, both on Amazon and every other site that has followed your lead.

Amazon is easy to use with super-fast delivery, amazing customer service, that very clever pre-paid annual shipping thing, and a return policy that lets me try things I’m unsure about. I’m not supposed to admit it, but I love your site.

And yet, I am unsure about you. You are totally shanking a slam dunk opportunity to be one of the greatest humans that ever lived. Sure, you’re already in a bunch of boring business books, but…