Thanks so much for the kind words and comments, Bella! I find it hard to take exception with anything you are saying. This was a very hard article to write because the language and understandings of these complex matters varies so much among us. There is no doubt that we have something we think of as agency for change. And by NO means am I saying there is no hope. Change is clearly possible. It's more about fully seeing and accepting who we are. As you say, we need to see what it is about ourselves that we don't like before we can change. I have needed to continuously open myself to who I am. To do that I have to be able to tolerate it. To tolerate it, it helps to understand that we don't have a lot of say in how we turned out, at least before healing and introspection begin. there is no shame. Not need to look away. Something like that.

BTW, I agree that once we deeply see ourselves and our behaviors, we naturally change with little effort. Thanks again.